Things that suck Part 1 - Ke$ha

Kesha/Ke$ha/K Dollar Sign HA sucks. However you spell it, she really sucks.

It's not that I don't like dance music. I do. That's part of why I'm so offended by her.  I'm goo-goo for Gaga. I have a serious man-crush on Justin Timberlake. If you don't own the whole Cee Lo record, you need get on iTunes right now and download it. For a  REAL female pop star, I'm all about Rihanna.  With so much great dance music out there right now, Ke$ha should be waiting tables at Applebee's instead of masquerading as a pop star. Kesha sucks so bad that she makes Britney Spears look talented.

I first became aware of Ke$ha's musical crimes accidentally. My wife bears the blame. When I borrowed her car a few weeks ago, a song came on the radio as soon as started the car. I couldn't believe my ears. I thought Snookie and J-Woww had cut a single.

When I got home, I asked my wife, "Did Snookie and J-Woww cut a single? I just heard the worst song ever and it sounds it should be the Jersey Shore anthem!"

"Oh, that's Kesha," she said, "you know, the one who spells her name K Dollar Sign Ha. Yup. She sucks, but I listen to that station to wake up in the morning."

Sure, honey. In any case, I had no idea who Ke$ha was.

So I decided to investigate this travesty. With one click (preview!) on iTunes I discovered that the song in question is called "We R Who We R" and she has several other equally suck-ass singles. Really suck-ass singles. After another click to her Wikipedia page, I learn that she lists Beck, Queen, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, Beastie Boys, The Damned, Velvet Underground, Madonna, Talking Heads, and Blondie as influences.

This is her second offense.  If you listen to those artists, if those artists "influence" you, you clearly care about music. Nobody who cares about music could possibly commit musical crimes so heinous. It's just not possible. It's simply not possible.  Her publicist must have told her to say that. It's the only possible explanation. Why put up the charade? Nobody who likes those artists will  enjoy her stylings,  and there isn't one microscopic bit of their influence in her music.

Message to Kesha -  No !!!! These people are not your influences, Sweetie!  You suck even more for pretending that you like real music made by real artists.  Let me give a list of your actual influences  -   Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Kylie Minogue, RuPaul, Flock of Seagulls, The Weather Girls, and Paula Abdul. Sucky as they all are, you suck even more. U R Who U R, Kesha. And you suck.

In a final note, Kesha is only an accessory to the crime. The real criminals, the masterminds, are the producers and record company executives who pump this crap out and make stars of talentless dimwits while so many people with actual talent are working day jobs. Shame. Shame. When they die, if there is justice, they will be locked in room and forced to listen to Kesha and others of her ilk for all eternity.